A Python Valentine’s Day card

unholidaycards.com are selling cards with this cover art in packages of 10 for $10.  This is funny:

#!/usr/bin/env python

from relationships import *
from alcohol import shot, beer

def valentines_day(self):
    if self.dating:
        if self.money == 0:
            self.dating = False
        elif self.num_prev_dates == 0:
            self.money -= dinner()
            self.money -= pointless_gift()
            self.money -= dinner()/sqrt(self.num_prev_dates)
            if randInt(self.num_prev_dates):
                self.money -= pointless_gift()/self.num_prev_dates
    elif self.married:
        if self.years_married < 5:
             self.money -= dinner()/(self.years_married ** 2)
        while self.blood_alcohol < .08:
            self.blood_alcohol += beer()
        while self.blood_alcohol < .22:
            self.blood_alcohol += shot()

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